Blessed are the peacemakers, not the peacekeepers...

Today a friend told me that I have frequently pointed out distinctions that somehow he had missed his whole life. I laughed and then seriously noted that those distinctions are really important to make. They are ones I often overlooked or didn’t take the time to process what was being said. The one I pointed out today was that Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers” (Matthew 5:9), not the peacekeepers. There are little ones that haven’t made a significant impact or change in perspective, but this one is a big one. 

Most of us don’t like conflict. I don’t. We tend to want to avoid it and to get along with everyone. Wanting to keep peace isn’t necessarily bad. However, Jesus’ words are clear, “Blessed are the peacemakers”, not the peacekeepers. So, what’s the distinction?

A peacekeeper is someone who seeks to preserve or keep peace by avoiding conflict, often yielding to tension or avoiding disagreement to please others. They will sacrifice their inner peace to maintain a superficial harmony with others, not wanting to disrupt the status quo. On the other hand, to establish peace both externally and internally, a peacemaker embraces the resolution of conflict within themselves and with others. This means they confront and address tension or issues to reach a stable state. Though peacekeepers may resemble peacemakers, genuine peace is experienced only by the latter.

For a peacekeeper, being honest is usually hard; it’s overwhelming and intimidating. They are uncertain of how others will react to their opinions and emotions, feeling they aren’t valid or won’t be acceptable. Fearing disagreement or offense, peacekeepers often suppress their own thoughts to align with others. This could be due to how they were brought up - being taught that their feelings weren’t valid. Sometimes our feelings can be based on an inaccurate perception, but that makes them no less valid and why it is even more important to express them. Sharing our thoughts, ideas, and feelings always carries the risk of disagreement. Yet, this type of honesty can also offer great value to others. One of the most dangerous places to be is in a place of apathy, pacifying ourselves and thinking we can make no difference. I started this blog knowing people were going to disagree with me on some things. And I am okay with that. I wouldn’t learn any other way. 

I wrote an introductory piece about myself that I haven’t published yet, but here’s an excerpt from it:

You aren’t going to agree with everything I say, that’s okay. I don’t want you to. If you put me in a room filled with people who all have the same opinions as me, I will learn nothing. Disagreement serves as an incentive for meaningful conversation. The essence of true learning lies in the willingness to listen to others with the intent to understand, rather than aiming to win an argument. Remember, disagreement isn't about resorting to personal attacks; it's about exchanging thoughts, experiences, and information.

Genuine honesty has the power to uplift, challenge, and provide insights to others, which allows a person to grow through diverse perspectives. Your honesty can guide others towards harmony in their lives. Consider a friend facing challenges. While you may fear offending them, your honesty could be instrumental in addressing their situation. You can either prioritize their feelings by withholding truth or prioritize their well-being by sharing your observations and how they impact them. I would rather be hurt with the truth than comforted with a lie. Always. I have a lot I can say about “hurting feelings” but will save that for another post. 

You might be thinking, but wait, Melody, Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” There are two things that Paul wrote here to point out: "If possible" and "so far as it depends on you." This acknowledges the inevitability of conflict at times and there will also be people that just don’t want to reconcile with us. Living a life that follows this demands certain actions. This means owning up to our mistakes, offering apologies, making amends, and extending forgiveness. This was my point in a previous post. Our pursuit of peaceful coexistence with others is always about not harming another person, but truth can hurt at times. That’s why holding truth and grace, as well as conviction and love, together is so important. The Bible is clear that when it comes to matters of fundamental convictions we have as Christians we must stand firm with grace, mercy, and integrity. If achieving "peace" requires compromising truth or anything that God commands, then true peace becomes unattainable. This may result in personal suffering or persecution. Paul emphasizes that it is more crucial to represent Christ faithfully than to secure a favorable outcome. Not every action that appeases others aligns with goodness or with God's will. Here’s a great piece of advice I was once given: don’t confuse the command to love with the disease to please. 

Jesus is the epitome of a peacemaker, for he is the Prince of Peace. He frequently questioned those he encountered, challenged beliefs, addressed sin, questioned his disciples, and preached in the middle of persecution. However, this is exactly how Jesus frees people; he reveals the true path and brings peace between individuals and God, as well as among different groups of people. 

The conversation I had with the friend earlier reminded me of my dad. After his passing, we received more than one letter expressing admiration for my father’s willingness to have the hard conversations and say things in the room that no one else was willing to say. I’m sure there were moments when people didn’t like it, but overall people loved him and had great respect for him. He was known as an honest man and a kind man.

To wrap this up, I wanted to go back to that conversation from earlier. I told my friend how we, as humans, like to make simple things that sometimes need more thought. At that moment a song popped into my head (it’s the one that is at the bottom of this post). I have listened to it a lot lately and the lyrics below depict the point I am getting at:

I’ll weather every storm, the cannonades of thunder and hollow proclamations from meager-hearted men who make simple all the things they don’t care to understand. 

To a trimmed and tailored truth sewn with a dogmatic thread. They needle those resisting, they judge and they condemn. They only know how to tear; they don’t know how to mend. 

Let’s not let our faith or our hearts be meager. Yes, there is beauty in simplicity at times, but with scripture, we need to care about fully understanding what is being instructed. I want to be a person that speaks life into people, not tears them down. And what many don’t realize is that they tear others down by their lack of honesty and their facade of peace. Let’s also not forget that peacemaking first begins within oneself. We can’t be honest with others unless we are first honest with ourselves and honest before God. Some people can convince themselves of lies and can convince others as well, but we will never convince God of something that isn’t good, right, or true. Never. 

So, are you a peacemaker or a peacekeeper? What does your peacemaking look like? Is it like Jesus, does it confront real issues and possibly cause tension? Or is it avoidance? We cannot be peacemakers by avoiding honesty, confrontation, and tension. It’s not possible. 

Let us remember that genuine peace isn't found in the absence of conflict, but in the resolution of it. May we be inspired by the example of peacemakers like Jesus, who fearlessly confronted injustice and delusions to bring about true harmony. As we navigate our own paths, let us embrace the courage to confront real issues, even if it means weathering storms and facing discomfort. For it is through honest dialogue, both with others and within ourselves, that we pave the way for lasting peace and understanding. So, I hope we can all choose to be peacemakers, not merely peacekeepers, and in doing so, may we cultivate a world where honesty, integrity, and compassion prevail above all else.