What it means to be truly lost

Sometimes we try to place God’s hand on something simply because we want it.

Or we want the life we think it provides…

the comfort, the validation, the luxury, the illusion of love.

We convince ourselves the timing is right

because it is convenient for us.

We call something “meant to be”,

because we are afraid to release it.

We call something worthy of His covenant

that does not even meet the most basic standards of truth.

But desire is not the same as direction.

God does not always place things in our lives when they are comfortable.

He does not always call us when we feel ready.

He does not always open doors when it is easy to walk through them.

Often, His timing feels inconvenient.

His direction feels uncertain.

His calling feels costly.

Because what is from Him does not simply affirm who we are,

it transforms who we are.

It calls our old selves to remain in the past.

Sometimes we try to force peace where there is only attachment.

We try to manufacture confirmation where there is only preference.

We try to label something divine so we do not have to confront letting it go.

But calling something God’s will does not make it holy.

And sometimes the saddest truth is this:

We know exactly where God is leading.

We feel it clearly.

We recognize it deeply.

We understand what obedience would require.

But we hesitate.

We spiral back into the patterns of our past

and the lies darken our lens

until we replace light with more darkness

simply because it feels familiar.

Not because we do not understand,

because we are afraid.

Afraid of loss.

Afraid of discomfort.

Afraid of the unknown.

Afraid of surrender.

God still whispers,

we shake our heads

and convince ourselves the voice must be the enemy.

We call His conviction temptation

because obedience would require change.

He places conviction in our hearts,

yet we excuse it.

He places truth before us,

yet we rationalize it away.

We silence what is sacred

by labeling it uncomfortable.

He places truth before us in the quiet,

when distractions fade

and honesty feels unavoidable.

He even places it in our dreams while we sleep...

moments of clarity we cannot control,

glimpses of the life we know we are meant to walk toward.

And still, we wake and dismiss it.

We call it imagination.

We call it coincidence.

We call it anything but calling.

Because admitting it is from Him

means we must decide whether we will follow.

We pray for clarity

when what we truly fear is courage.

Because sometimes we are not confused about God’s will,

we are intimidated by it.

And in those moments, it can feel as though we are more afraid of His purpose

than we are of remaining unchanged.

Eventually, the darkness we avoid confronting

becomes the darkness we live within.

We build our lives around it.

We protect it.

We marry it.

We nurture it.

We become it.

We live a lie to avoid living in truth.

And that is what it means to be truly lost.